linzee: (fob: homemade porn)
[personal profile] linzee
I have been having no luck at all with this Tony/Steve story I'm working on. I think I've been staring at it for too long. It's reached the point where it's been in my brain so long enough I can no longer take a step back and examine it objectively -- I can't tell if it's worth editing up and keeping, or if it's full of issues and needs to be scrapped, or if I'm just over it entirely and frustrated and ready to throw it in the WIP Folder where 70% of everything I write goes to languish and die.

It is the worst and I hate it. I need another pair of eyes on this thing but I am too embarrassed to make other people look at it because what if it sucks.

Tonight while (finally) reading my LJ friendslist I was struck by a fit of nostalgia and sudden concern for Livejournal's ability to retain information, and ended up going back and digging up all of my old bandom tags. Over two hours later, here are things that I learned:

1) I wrote a hell of a lot of fic in that fandom. Like, seriously. I found things I had literally no memory of -- not little drabbles, either, I found a 15,000 word Pete/Patrick fic that I couldn't remember writing, even as I read it. The only reason I am sure it is definitely mine and not the product of some sort of time/space continuum burp is that Patrick was being continually annoyed by a Rob Thomas ringtone. And now you understand why I put these things in -- it is convenient in the apparently very-real face of sudden and complete memory erasure.

2) I produced my best work in that fandom and I hate that this is true.

3) Remember that time Patrick Stump got pregnant and had to quit his job at Dairy Queen? Or that time Ryan Ross masturbated while thinking about John McCain? Or the time Garth Brooks fell in love with Patrick and challenged Pete to a duel for his love? Good times.

The moral of the story is I am the worst at writing and all of the words are gone and I will never produce anything new again.

Have I mentioned I miss posting here? There is something so soothing about making actual posts in a medium I understand.

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