linzee: (fob: no one is really)
[personal profile] linzee
The problem with tumblr...okay, there are many problems with tumblr, but the problem with tumblr in terms of fannish content is it's not only made me content with not producing anything, but it's made me increasingly uncomfortable posting unless I have a Specific Reason to Do So.  I've absorbed the tagging culture of tumblr's version of fandom, I think -- I find myself opening up DW tabs regularly, getting halfway through a post, and asking, "do I really need to post this?  Is this benefiting anyone?"   The answer of course is no, because unless I'm explicitly posting fanwork I'm pretty much talking to hear myself talk, but, then, that never stopped me before.

At any rate, I'd really like to post more often, and this "Retro Journaling" challenge seems like a great way to do so.  I find myself missing DW/LJ more and more these days -- Tumblr is fun, but I just can't quite get on board with it as a sole or even primary form of fannish interaction, largely for the reason I just mentioned.  The entire format really discourages personal engagement, and after a while it becomes a very alienating way to 'do' fandom.  And it's utterly terrible for meta, discussion or long-form conversation, which brings me to the other thing that's been bothering me more and more with Tumblr: the emphasis on popularity through reblogs and likes encourages a culture of hyperbole, mis-sourcing and games of telephone that really confuses me because we're on the damn internet, it's not that hard to put something in google and take the five seconds it requires to find out whether or not X celebrity actually tweeted that about Castiel or whether or not Y thing was actually said about Draco in an interview.  Hint: about 50% of the time with tumblr, the answer is "no, they didn't."  It's ridiculous.

The point is, journaling come back to meeeeeeee.  I say as I once again put off opening a Dreamwidth tab in favor of reblogging screencaptures from "Tremors."

I spent far too much time last night reading WTF Fanfiction's list of things used as lube that shouldn't be lube.  I feel like it says something about how long I've been in fandom that I was largely unfazed by most of the list, because apparently after a while things like "gun oil," "monster slime" and "holy water" don't start sounding any less unpleasant, but they do start, er, bleeding together.  I am fascinated by some of these despite myself, though.  Like -- Dorito crumbs.  I realize there are things on that list that should scare me more (jellyfish!  Souls!  THE TEARS OF CHILDREN) but for some reason I keep going back to the Doritos.

Let it be noted, incidentally, that everything I am doing right now is a thing I should not be doing.  What I should be doing is writing a book review, a draft of which I need to have by Friday, but I've worked myself up so badly over it that I've become avoidant.   This is becoming a massive problem as I start working on my dissertation, and I wish I could make myself stop.  I start questioning my writing ability, and my ability to think, and I end up doing anything else but what I should be doing until the very last minute, at which point adrenaline and sheer panic force me into finishing whatever needed to get done.  This is not an appropriate long-term form of writing though, and it certainly won't work here -- not when I'm trying to get done quickly (because I want to leave Seattle yesterday).  Which is to say, I apologize in advance for any writing-related whining.  And also for all of the things I will do while avoiding my dissertation.


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