linzee: (Default)
Life update: travelling across the country with two cats is unnecessarily difficult. Actually impossible, if one of the locations on your itinerary is Phoenix. I can't cargo one of the cats because no airline will accept animals as cargo if the temperature is above 85, even if their cargo hold is air conditioned. Which -- okay, I appreciate this as a safety precaution, but they also won't let me carry on two cats even if I buy one of them a person-ticket, which is a touch more frustrating. Cat ladies travel, too! The solution I ended up with after great deliberation is just to fly back to Arizona for a long weekend in mid-October and pick up the second cat then, for all of four weeks until I fly back to Phoenix for Thanksgiving, at which point I'll be bringing back one cat, and then the second one comes with me, yet again (and for good) for Christmas. My mom suggested I try to smuggle on a cat like Lucy Ricardo with the cheese, but cats aren't quite as edible, nor am I in possession of convenient hideout tubas.

ANYWAY. Second point of order: earlier this summer my older of two external hard drives died, and as a result I lost basically every fanvid I have ever saved. It was horrible -- at least a decade's worth of fanvids, including quite a few old XF and SV videos that aren't online anymore. I don't think I'm ever going to get entirely over this. I was able to rescue my 13 year old Matchbox Twenty mp3 collection, though, as well as my Train mp3 collection that's about that same age, so at least there's something. Since then I've been trying to start a new fanvid collection, but it's still pretty scarce. Anyone have any fanvid recs they want to send my way? *huge eyes*

I will start with two!

Light Em' Up - Team Free Will [Supernatural] - there's another SPN video to "My Songs Know What You Did In the Dark" that was ubiquitous on Tumblr a couple of months ago, but I wasn't much of a fan of it. This one, on the other hand, is absolutely incredible. This song is so wonderfully over-dramatic in the glorious, over the top way that made me fall in love with Fall Out Boy in the first place, and the video amps that up to 11. I honestly like this video so much I've just accepted it as the music video for the song; the editing is better than the editing for the real music video/music video series-thing.

Getaway - Dean/Benny [Supernatural] - I feel like everybody secretly, deep down inside, shipped Dean/Benny. At least once, for at least a couple minutes. This video pulls those couple minutes out of you and turns them into a massive pile of feelings that you will want to crawl under and die (okay, that might just be me). Things I am still not over, apparently: that time Dean had to decapitate his vampire boyfriend to save his baby brother. Supernatural is why I don't have nice things.
linzee: (misc: judas i don't believe you)
I've spent the last hour of my life watching Fabella's really amazing Sam/Castiel music videos and then I logged on to Tumblr and there was Scully/Reyes fanart that kept referring to Scully as "Dana" and it's not even nine PM in Arizona and I honestly have no idea what is going on or what reality is anymore. I have never been so confused.

[In all seriousness though, you have to watch that Sam/Cas video. The one I linked directly is set to "Billie Jean" by Michael Jackson and I don't think I would've clicked that for many vidders but she made Rob Thomas work as a fanvid for me and oh my god you guys no just do it.]

I'm totally watching this video while trying to finish my first over 40,000 word fic (Dean/Castiel, but I swear I am not one of those Dean/Castiel shippers -- I mean, I've spent the last 24 hours mainlining Sam/Castiel fanvids and before that I was running around trying to recover a pretty impressive Wincest fanvid collection so, I mean). It's at 42k and it just keeps growing and I'm either proud of myself or horrified and I haven't figured out which yet. It's entirely possible I'll get tired of words for the evening and give up and vid instead.

In other news, if you ever want to confuse a cat, put on a clay face mask. My boy kitty has been staring at me like I'm a demon for the last twenty minutes. He won't even get in my lap -- he's just on the ground next to me screaming at my green face.
linzee: (misc: judas i don't believe you)
One of the hardest realizations for me in the fandom shift from LJ/DW to tumblr has been having to come to terms with the fact that I no longer have any idea how to disseminate fanworks: either I've become completely out of touch with what Kids Today want in their work (this is entirely possible), or I'm just clueless (also possible), or it's a combination of the two (also likely), but tumblr's fanfic culture in particular is a foreign creature that confuses and at times completely vexes me. I'm just throwing darts in a dark hallway and it is discouraging beyond all belief.

The thing is, and I have always said this because it is true, but I don't necessarily feel the need to post what I write. I write as stress relief because it's nice to work in a relatively low-stakes environment where (under normal circumstances) no one is going to tell you how badly you suck. Bandom took that from me for a while, but eventually I realized bandom was largely a complete hive of scum and villainy and moved on with my life. What I am embarrassingly, humiliatingly susceptible to, though, is radio silence. My biggest fear is posting a fic I've worked on for months and getting no response, or posting fanart or drabbles and hearing radio silence. And the thing with tumblr is - for the reasons mentioned above - this is what happens. Which is fine, because no one owes me commentary, but I do find myself writing things and then putting them away in the Google Docs equivalent of my sock drawer more and more often. Which is a thing I've always done: I wrote about twice the amount of bandom fic that I actually posted, for instance; I have a few extra Adam Lambert stories that never made it to the internet; I wrote for The Avengers and never posted. And now I've got this 40+k Supernatural fic I'm just about finished with that I'm really, really proud of and I'm not entirely sure I'm going to post because while I can handle criticism, I get so embarrassed and ashamed when I publish something online and nothing happens but silence.

The downside of this, and this is where I realize I am being a total selfish asshole, is I still like getting things beta'ed. And that is a hard sell: "hey, do you want to beta 42,000 words of Dean/Castiel with a lot of Sam knowing it will never ever get posted on the internet and all your work will be for naught?" Oh yes sign me up for that!

In conclusion, as long as I'm here, here is a Meg/Cas vid I made a while ago and, uh, never posted. At what point am I in danger of becoming some sort of fandom hoarder?

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